Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Spaceships idle infinitely along while wonderfully diverse heroes meander about on meaningless missions, diving through plotholes to find silly set-pieces like the Dobby-horse race and 50 shades of Rey’s red room of pain. Mediocre choreography and weak story compete for worst place with Poe’s deadly stupidity and Kylo’s aim-all-guns strategy.

Darkest Hour

Joe gets it Wrong again, the year’s 2^nd best Dunkirk film, British Lincoln, turns out to be Dullest Two Hours. Even-Older-man’s brilliant performance is utterly riveting but struggles to maintain audience support through shelling of bizarre stylistic missteps. Interesting but subpar subway scene proves that you Winston, you lose some.

All the Money in the World

Reshoots cost less than ransoms after Spacey getties the boot. Compound scandals aside, All the Money is nothing World-shattering, with straightforward storyline and clichéd hero straight from the espionage Wahl of fame. Plummer’s hastily rendered performance stands out in a sluggish film but it’s Williams who pays off the most.