Alien: Covenant

Mediocre mixture of space horror clichés and heavy-handed throwback fumbles is impregnated with shockingly deep continuation of promethean questions of ultimate origin story. Unfortunately, this philosophical beast waits ages to burst forth, and is promptly crushed by ridleyculous action, subpar special effects, and cheats alien to the franchise thus far.  

The Rover

Michod’s McCarthy-esque Mad Max is a brooding and beautiful character study of an ambiguously good and/or bad Guy who goes on a brutal and brutally simple journey, pausing only to adopt a mentally handicapped vampire.  Intense performances, precise pacing and a well-crafted world lead to a doggone interesting title-pertinent ending.

Iron Man 3

Freaky scientist becomes bad Guy after upgrading from explosive plants to explosive people.  The one-size-fits-all super-suit gets passed around while Stark struggles with feelings of Ironic inadequacy following up Avengers.  Concludes with surprise Love Guru, a presidential piñata, an asbestos bra, and a Guy’s Flamer’s vs. Tony’s Toys Quidditch match.

Lawless

Labaeiouf finally lets real actors take center stage, and the result is an excellent film.  Hardy’s invincibility is easier to accept than his relation to siblings.  Chastain’s anything but chaste, and Pearce steals show from underused Oldman.  Selective use of brutal violence make it all the more powerful and shocking.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Pseudo-Guillermo horror remake falls into achasm of lameness when homely Holmes and her Surigate daughter discover that shrink-rayed orcs are stealing their teeth.  A few scenes of graphic violence are fantastically executed but the plot has more holes than that shower curtain and those scissors are more piercing than Guy.

Lockout

Besson’s metal rendition of Carpenter’s escape lacks quirkiness of the original, technology of a good sci-fi, and plausibility of a decent movie.  Pearce’s tough guy is great, but Grace is far from it.  The badness of the prisoners is too senseless and inconsistent and the conspiracy theory feels tacked on.