All the Money in the World

Reshoots cost less than ransoms after Spacey getties the boot. Compound scandals aside, All the Money is nothing World-shattering, with straightforward storyline and clichéd hero straight from the espionage Wahl of fame. Plummer’s hastily rendered performance stands out in a sluggish film but it’s Williams who pays off the most.

Alien: Covenant

Mediocre mixture of space horror clichés and heavy-handed throwback fumbles is impregnated with shockingly deep continuation of promethean questions of ultimate origin story. Unfortunately, this philosophical beast waits ages to burst forth, and is promptly crushed by ridleyculous action, subpar special effects, and cheats alien to the franchise thus far.  

The Martian

Saving Astronaut Damon is Scott’s first humans-only space epic and the cast, setting and result are stellar. Necessarily jettisons several of source’s set-pieces but remains loyal to the physics, the feel, and the fun.  Iron-ically cheesy finale and spaced out Glover are only detractors.  But Boromir explains Elrond to council!!!

Exodus: Gods and Kings

After Jewish Bale is exiled for refusing to wear the family eyeliner, he rises out of dark desert night then enlists the aid of kinderGods and Kingsleys (just there managing Moses’ list) and sits back to passively enjoy a mediocre effects orgy crafted by Ridley Demille’s VFX crew of thousands!