Warcraft

Can’t slam Duncan hard enough, as this time he overshoots the moon big time. Source could be to blame for heavy-handed exposition and mediocre storyline, but dark magic must be at fault for the awful CG. New additions to D&D character canon include heroin-withdrawn soldier, seasick half-orc and constipated foster-wizard.

Hail, Caesar!

Coens salute themselves with completely unedited brainstorm session.  Deliberately over-long sequences beautifully mirror 50s films but get lost amidst endless other scenes of ludicrous length.  Neither outstanding cast and characteristic Coen comedy, nor tacky narration and contrived confessionals can hold together a tossed salad of unempathetic characters and poor plotting.

Green Lantern

Reynolds is green with envy for all the decent superhero scripts as he fails to light a spark of enjoyability in this dim lantern. Effects unworthy of Pixar, and the dialogue makes Star Wars look like Shakespeare ensure that a film about manifesting the imagination completely fails to do so.

Cowboys and Aliens

Independence day in Arizona. James Bond’s magic bracelet helps him fight not so Super eight thousand alien gold-diggers, because they stupidly abducted Indiana Wayne’s milkshake hungry son. Ham-handed character development, ridiculously silly story, and inanely Wilde phoenix scene add up to a film that tries too hard. Camp vs. A-listers.