Ant Man

Big time crook turns to petty crime in Marvel’s Irony Man.  Rudd fails to steer this clunky quasi-comedic heist through awkward pacing, ham-fisted emotional backstory, and remarkably low stakes.  Lilly’s Zeta-Jones costume makes Douglas seem even more villainous than trying to blow up his company to stop his protégé’s progress does.

Haywire

Soderbergh’s Girl Fight Experience outgrows its predecessor and is bourne into disjunctive action mess.  Major stars braved traffic to show up onset and then suffered contagious underuse.  Fassbender and Banderas have names longer than their roles, and even McGregor just stumbles around in poorly edited mediocrity.  Carano however, Way higher.

Solitary Man

Gordon Gekko’s horny brother stars with Sarandon again in Wall Street 3: Money Took a Nap. Douglas’ performance is entertaining, and he has remarkable chemistry with each co-star. Jesse Eisenbeouf learns to network socially while Parker’s lonely housewife goes Red with rage. Still, storyline isn’t compelling and ending feels forced.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Ex-sitcom Labaeiouf replaces current sitcomer Sheen (cameo, duh) and becomes an actor. Mulligan shines but the Gekko seems twisted out of character. Starts well but crashes midway through and Even Steven just rides the oddly edited rollercoaster till the anti-climactic end. Current affairs familiarity can’t save this Stone from sinking.