Black Mass

Hollywood’s obligatory annual crime movie is too broad to feel personal but too small to feel important, much like FBI’s investigation.  Underwhelming structure or lack thereof produces a mediocre mess despite great performances.  Depp’s first actual acting in years. Maybe if the Mass were #white he would’ve gotten the Oscar.

Fifty Shades of Grey

 Perfectly recreates mediocrity of source material on screen with nuances of softcore soap-opera.  Edward signs a deal not to unfurrow his brow as long as Bella can avoid saying anything intelligent.  Tedious direction and ludicrous emotionality make Secretary ripoff about as interesting as a mosaic might be to the colorblind.