Cafe Society

Eisenberg’s Allen is predictably on point in a bland revisionist autobiography augmented by woody narration of its author. Amusing characters and quasi-Shakespearian setup fray and unwind instead of tying up neatly. Perhaps Allen is a Coen father, as this feels like a subpar Serious Man meets a bored Barton Fink.

Black Mass

Hollywood’s obligatory annual crime movie is too broad to feel personal but too small to feel important, much like FBI’s investigation.  Underwhelming structure or lack thereof produces a mediocre mess despite great performances.  Depp’s first actual acting in years. Maybe if the Mass were #white he would’ve gotten the Oscar.

Dark Places

Charlize is the only bright spot amidst an otherwise dismal display.  Unrewarding Hoult leads a painfully inept and overdue investigation that somehow successfully proves that several small coincidences are all actually just… one ridiculously massive coincidence.  Dissatisfying plot resolution and disappointing failure to get as dark as it should.

Ant Man

Big time crook turns to petty crime in Marvel’s Irony Man.  Rudd fails to steer this clunky quasi-comedic heist through awkward pacing, ham-fisted emotional backstory, and remarkably low stakes.  Lilly’s Zeta-Jones costume makes Douglas seem even more villainous than trying to blow up his company to stop his protégé’s progress does.