Fury

Ahab Pitt pursues white-power whale in visually astounding and brilliantly brooding war story.  Percy finally ascends to his co-stars’ godly realm, though Labaeiouf steals show with bible-thumping rabidity.  Incredible moral tale, peppered with palpable suspense, devastating imagery but slightly over-cinematic conclusion.  Ayer kept it fresh, and for that deserves tanks.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Kevin, Hermione, and Percy Jackson team up in what may be the first meaningful high school film ever.  Distractingly famous adult co-stars detract slightly from powerful pubescent performances and slight air of pretention occasionally intoxicates atmosphere.  Regardless, wallflower is playful but poignant, and perky enough to make Harry Potter jealous.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Columbus discovers American world for Harry Potter in Polite Dispute of the Titans. Abandons senseless book plot in favor of alternative irrational national traipse, and adds healthy dose of Star Wars dialogue with lightning-saber battle to match. Only two performances shine from thunder; Alpa Chino’s furry bootysweat, and Coogan’s Pacino.

Gamer

Neveldine and Taylor crank out this poorly plotted ‘Running Man’ ripoff overflowing with glitchy editing and arbitrary breast shots. Butler is decent but Sedgwick is weak, even compared to Lohman, Luda, and Leguizamo. Michael C. Hall is film’s saving grace, but still, Leonidas vs. Dexter & Terry Crews? Game Over.