Alice Through the Looking Glass

Bobin mirrors Burton to admirable effect. Alice navigates a visually astounding narrative maze on foolhardy Adventure through Underland, finding herself lost in the machines and machinations of a monarchy of Miserables. Depp phones it in, but it’s still a call worth answering, especially as writers sing Carrols of frabjous wordplay.

Dark Shadows

Burton’s fifth remake of the century is seventy percent Blast from the Past, thirty percent True Blood, and 100 percent underwhelming.  Standard white faced Sweeney Wonka returns in his least impressive Burton turn to date.  Green’s catwoman is great till she starts exorcising and Pfeiffer’s stardom is dusty and unimpressive. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Happy Potter and the Octilogy ending battle. Final chapter is far-cry from blue-balled predecessor. Kill Voldemort vol. 2 leaves all the apparating behind and focuses instead on hurling digital fire back and forth. Brief stop by the Matrix weapons room precedes Aslan Potter saving the day. Then poof, aging spell.

The King's Speech

Geoffrey rushes in to prevent Firth from st-st-stealing the show in poignant and clever, if somewhat conventional story of a man overcoming himself. Pleasant to see Carter in non-Burton role, and Pearce’s snarkiness somehow makes him biggest bad guy in film that contains Hitler. Perfect parts funny, compassionate, and p-p-powerful.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

A half-satisfying half-movie featuring veritable cameos from the costars of its predecessors. Accurate collection of scene re-enactments strung together by semblance of plot and endless apparations. Hermione’s hotness completely skews the book’s character and Ron Weasley goes Sam Gamgee. Nearly naked aging teens with lack of Hogwarts distinguish this half-film.

Terminator Salvation

McG tries to reboot Terminator franchise with gritty Batman Begins treatment. His attempt is hampered by the absence of (real) Schwarzenegger, a decent plot, or any semblance of loyalty to original films. Bale and Yelchin inhabit their characters well enough, but Worthington’s strong heart can’t make up his weak character.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

‘Alice in Narnia’ marks Disney’s third failure to shoot a compelling epic and proves that digital effects haven’t evolved far enough to fix bad writing. Depp’s schizophrenic performance oscillates from Pee Wee to Braveheart while Burton’s creepiness drowns in a shallow effects orgy. Highlights are big-headed Bellatrix and floating Puss-in-Boots.