Warcraft

Can’t slam Duncan hard enough, as this time he overshoots the moon big time. Source could be to blame for heavy-handed exposition and mediocre storyline, but dark magic must be at fault for the awful CG. New additions to D&D character canon include heroin-withdrawn soldier, seasick half-orc and constipated foster-wizard.

Dracula Untold

Title should burst into flames upon completion of film.  Aside from clashing bat-talions nothing is particularly good, but except for Papa Lannister’s exposition Dance, nothing is terribly bad either.  Well-executed if extremely formulaic and somewhat clichéd origin story even if nobody got their accents right in this game of bones.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Spoiler alert: ALVH spoils history, vampire films, and your day.  What is Lincoln’s superpower?  Why can’t vamps hurt each other?  Why infiltrate AND blow up the train? Why emphasize bad FX through slo-mo?  Why do the editing, score, acting, and dialogue all suck worse than the most thirsty confederate undead?

The Escapist

Interestingly executed gritty non-chronological prison break thriller. Lewis and Fiennes deliver the strongest performances, though Cooper and Cox’s subtlety works as well. Solid performances make up for some questionably successful editorial flare and some subpar cinematography, but in the end it’s the story structure that makes for a masterful escape.

My Week with Marilyn

Williams masters the voice at least, while Branagh proves that he actually is Olivier. An amusing but overly mundane movie about a mediocre movie seems like a compelling snapshot rather than an independent story. Hermione and some Captain America co-stars are underused alongside an unknown hero who holds his own.

Captain America

Evans flames on patriotically in this exceptionally simple action flick. Marvelous performances and aesthetic make up for complete absence of plot originality. Basically a fast guy with a strong shield does exactly what he was supposed to do (fights Agent Red), without any internal conflict, plot twists, or historical relevance.

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

Krasinski directs scatter-brained male perspective on female perspective on minds of men. Equal parts disorienting and unsatisfying randomness and ingeniously edited intercut conversation montages. Performances are all-around satisfactory but not impressive with exception of MacGruber’s strange serious turn and Dominic Cooper’s brilliantly dark argument. Excellent monologues galore tied together poorly.

An Education

Sarsgaard resumes his frequent creepy guy role, this time enhanced by being convincingly British and in pursuit of impressively talented Carey Mulligan. A peppering of bigger stars in smaller roles support the story excellently, and beautifully written, witty dialogue prevents an otherwise endearing script from becoming too clichéd or preachy.