Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Elitist Hermione follows her hobbit father into a slightly less animated re-imagined adventure. Book-smarts bring beastiality to beauty’s brain, playing perfectly into Princely prick’s quest to pursue a tail as young as possible. Meanwhile no one sings like Gaston, though Gad spells disastter in Evans’ efforts to ring a Belle.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Kevin, Hermione, and Percy Jackson team up in what may be the first meaningful high school film ever.  Distractingly famous adult co-stars detract slightly from powerful pubescent performances and slight air of pretention occasionally intoxicates atmosphere.  Regardless, wallflower is playful but poignant, and perky enough to make Harry Potter jealous.

My Week with Marilyn

Williams masters the voice at least, while Branagh proves that he actually is Olivier. An amusing but overly mundane movie about a mediocre movie seems like a compelling snapshot rather than an independent story. Hermione and some Captain America co-stars are underused alongside an unknown hero who holds his own.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Happy Potter and the Octilogy ending battle. Final chapter is far-cry from blue-balled predecessor. Kill Voldemort vol. 2 leaves all the apparating behind and focuses instead on hurling digital fire back and forth. Brief stop by the Matrix weapons room precedes Aslan Potter saving the day. Then poof, aging spell.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

A half-satisfying half-movie featuring veritable cameos from the costars of its predecessors. Accurate collection of scene re-enactments strung together by semblance of plot and endless apparations. Hermione’s hotness completely skews the book’s character and Ron Weasley goes Sam Gamgee. Nearly naked aging teens with lack of Hogwarts distinguish this half-film.