Justice League

Grouchy Avengers assemble to battle every Thor villain fused into one. They stage super-disappointing resurrection as a cheat-code against the infinity boxes that threaten to plunge the whole cinematic universe into a tonally mismatched mess irredeemable even by the combined work of every action composer or occasional Flashes of humor.

Alien: Covenant

Mediocre mixture of space horror clichés and heavy-handed throwback fumbles is impregnated with shockingly deep continuation of promethean questions of ultimate origin story. Unfortunately, this philosophical beast waits ages to burst forth, and is promptly crushed by ridleyculous action, subpar special effects, and cheats alien to the franchise thus far.  

Spotlight

All the Pope’s Men is a witty and well-paced look into the world of investigative journalism. Keaton and his birdlings masterfully match their real-world counterparts as they delve into emotional territory with appropriate tact and objectivity.  Though Mystic Zodiac is no mystery, it manages to hold viewers in incredible suspense.

The Watch

Attack Jump Street, an occasionally funny but heavy-handed farce about the dangers of illegal aliens.  Big Quirky and Little Quirky reunite, this time co-handling a silver dodgeball which blasts their impotent attempts at emotional beats.  Hill isn’t over his 21 performance, while Ayoade’s intelligent comedy is from another world entirely.