The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Though Lord Miller supplied the building blocks, in the hands of less expert craftsman, the result feels piecemeal at best. Painfully disjointed opening vignettes could’ve used a bit of cohesive glue, and a few clever self-referential gags and reversals of cinematic expectation in third act don’t compensate for schizophrenic storytelling.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

For a film with World in the title, the second half is remarkably contained within Bayona’s Impossible Orphanage. Amazing effects manage to compliment cartoonish action to artificially stave off extinction of the franchise. Periodically leans on weaker clichés but then clever twists predictably rush in to rescue each massive moment.

Avengers: Infinity War

Whoever thought this many marvelous heroes could run the Gauntlet must’ve been Infinitely Stoned. But they somehow succeeded, so here’s 25 words, cuz Oh Snap!

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

Starship Supers spank space-Trump’s golden army before warping into marvelous Jerry Springer episode to intercede in the intergalactic seeding of egotistical Russelhoff and teach him the Yon-dos and don’ts of stellar adoption. Another fun mixtape of physically impossible Pratt-falls, absurdly abrupt dispute resolution and cosmic comedy firmly grooted in family.

The Magnificent Seven

Aside from diversity, re-remake adds nothing and the whole is less than the sum of its parts. Irrelevant anecdotes can’t magnify seven enough to carry overabundance of action in a film that’s literally stunted. The peculiar performances peak well before Hawke and Washington give the town a Fuqed up Training.

Passengers

Lost in Spaihts follows non-perishable humans who spoil as a result of dialog almost as over-explanatory as the trailers. 2^nd Lawrence’s Eventual arrival marks Horizontal shift from originality to cliché. 1/3 of a good concept should’ve prompted a studio ‘Pass’ but instead we learn that male entitlement can save mankind.