Fury

Ahab Pitt pursues white-power whale in visually astounding and brilliantly brooding war story.  Percy finally ascends to his co-stars’ godly realm, though Labaeiouf steals show with bible-thumping rabidity.  Incredible moral tale, peppered with palpable suspense, devastating imagery but slightly over-cinematic conclusion.  Ayer kept it fresh, and for that deserves tanks.

Lawless

Labaeiouf finally lets real actors take center stage, and the result is an excellent film.  Hardy’s invincibility is easier to accept than his relation to siblings.  Chastain’s anything but chaste, and Pearce steals show from underused Oldman.  Selective use of brutal violence make it all the more powerful and shocking.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Ex-sitcom Labaeiouf replaces current sitcomer Sheen (cameo, duh) and becomes an actor. Mulligan shines but the Gekko seems twisted out of character. Starts well but crashes midway through and Even Steven just rides the oddly edited rollercoaster till the anti-climactic end. Current affairs familiarity can’t save this Stone from sinking.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Campy action, lame dialogue, and freaky aliens illustrate Lucas’ involvement in this incredible desecration of an iconic series. Shia the Beouf nicely compliments the worst performances of Blanchett, Hurt, and Ford’s careers. Digital ants, Shia of the Apes, and a moronic waterfall car chase add to this colossal Crystal Skullf**k.

New York, I Love You

Vastly inferior to Parisian predecessor. Portrays the whitest, most uninteresting New York imaginable. Features a phenomenal performance from first time actor, Shia LaBeouf, and an out-of-place mainstream segment from Brett Ratner. Portman directs better than she acts in this one. Mostly destroyed by ill-conceived attempt to intertwine tonally disparate storylines.