Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

Starship Supers spank space-Trump’s golden army before warping into marvelous Jerry Springer episode to intercede in the intergalactic seeding of egotistical Russelhoff and teach him the Yon-dos and don’ts of stellar adoption. Another fun mixtape of physically impossible Pratt-falls, absurdly abrupt dispute resolution and cosmic comedy firmly grooted in family.

The Fate of the Furious

Nobody Russels up the regulars to domin8 rogue Torreto as he remains oddly silent about his hijo ex machina, while driving for a nuclear blonde Fast Furiosa. Wave of World War Zehicles and Game of Thrones guests breathe nos into stale franchise, but the flame retardant finale is glacially sub-par.

Furious Seven

The Rock rolls over as Statham transports his genre expertise into this Diesel-fueled joy ride.  A couple of Kurt commands send the team through several fun-filled video-game (and building) levels, but the slow-paced L.A. finale is even less arouse-y than Ronda’s brief ‘performance’.  Plus a fond farewell to Fast Walker.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Gunn hits bulls-eye with this branch-in-cheek rendition of Star Wars: The Force Avenges.  Bautista finally flexes acting muscles while Cooper perfects Pesci impression, Diesel and Seldana go green and Pratt cements his star status.   Effects, humor and heart make up for misused collection of bit-players and deus ex galactica finale.