Vice

Bale’s Dick and Rockwell’s Bush don’t rock well enough to bail out Mckay’s Big concept which falls Short as present day politics Anchor down one Man’s character study. Stylistically opposed of its titular character, Vice’s vice is its reliance on heavy-handed set-pieces to set up its inherently obvious unitary message.

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Deadpool 2

Silly sequel manages the impossible, resurrecting and raising the ridiculousness of the former film without stepping over the coke-line that the former had nearly fully snorted. Invincible franchise flick pratfalls into a series of alarmingly serious moments and yet never lets the irreverent tone drown in the pool of death.

Atomic Blonde

Jane Wick is half bombshell, half monster as she tears through irrelevant baddies and tedious dialog in equal parts. Political Tinkerings, Watchmen music, Birdman continuity & Curiosa sex-scenes can’t heat up this chilly ice bath of action. About as subtle and tasteless as straight vodka, though not nearly as neat.

The World's End

Hot World of the Dead delivers outstandingly funny and deeply poignant first act before abruptly transitioning into brilliantly choreographed string of slightly self-indulgent robot fights.  Clever in-jokes and addiction parallels propel Pegg’s performance until giant barcode scanner signals the end is Nighy and blasts the world into an incongruous epilogue.

London Boulevard

Monahan Departs states for Guy style crime flick, In London.  Farrell’s lead hits Bondy Bullseye as he prettily negotiates gritty England.  Through Naked Thewlis he lands gig visiting Knightley daily as she struggles to portray an awkward British actress.  Fails to be a multilayered cake but still an intriguing caper.

War Horse

Saving Private Stallion is long and meandering and while a few beats fall flat, plenty of others hit intended emotional chord.  Great effects and brilliant horse-action carry audience on a ride through all facets of European World War II.  Shameless stabs at heartstrings hit all-time high in orange silhouette finale.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Theron is so wickedly good in the first act that she yells for the entire rest of the film to distract the audience from everything else.  Hemsworth continues to be Thor and Stewart continues to not act as they both continue to look for Tim Burton in another failed epic.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Film-makers re-prove how much smarter they are than you by solving the problem before determining what it is. Downey’s Holmes inverts Laurie’s House while strongest performance is laid down by law. McAdams subtraction filled by misplaced Rapace. Best aspects are elementary: stunningly slow effects, and a bit of Ritchie wit.

V for Vendetta

Wachowski’s shine from behind their producer’s mask in this alternative dystopia. What’s worse than machines taking over? The British. Dramatically shifts the focus of source material but improves on plot and produces a better story. Agent Smith begins transformation into voice acting, and Portman proves that she really is Keira.

Hancock

Superhero quasi-comedy that transforms tonally from Bad Boys to Seven Pounds. Sometimes funny humor fades out with introduction of convoluted back-plot that never gets resolved. Theron and Bateman neither hurt nor help while Smith gives best performance as occasionally annoying hobo superman. Uses inexplicable tornados to overshadow subpar flying effects.

21 Grams

Title refers to the amount of extra brain tissue needed to fully comprehend this film. Basically, take a shotgun to a good drama and treat the falling confetti as a shooting script. Seemingly random non-chronology proves intensely clever on second viewing. Brilliant performances from lead players solidify film’s emotional power.

Sherlock Holmes

RDJ and Jude Law discover that an evil genius has turned London into a Dan Brown novel. Peppered with clue-leaves and the tails of clue-rats, completely indecipherable hints designed to make the viewer feel not clever enough. Pseudo-intellectual film made entertaining by good actors and occasional sequences of 300 slo-mo.