Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Saccharin spy sequel ropes in repeat viewers with self-indulgent circle-jerk of artificially enhanced action choreography.  Despite tonally consistent attempts to render disbelief weightless, the stellar assembly of stars to this shallow but shiny show is more difficult to fathom than the robodogs, Elton’s John Wick, or Firth’s ludicrously close shave.

Hell or High Water

Ben Bridges the gap between upstanding Chris and the criminal ideas he Fosters while Jeff Pines for a lost way of life. Heavy-handed economic statement looms dark over this brotherly Bonnie & Clyde but simplicity of story and earnestness of performance ensure that this adventure makes it to the bank.

Seventh Son

Awful expository voiceover.  Contrived Romeo & Juliet subplot.  Badly spelled-out plot twists. Semi-plagiarized Howard score. Jon Snow knowing less than nothing. Julianne’s a-moore-al cliché of a villainess.  And Jeff Bridges as Aldo Raine as Gandalf is seventh sign of film’s colossal failure. Brilliant writers expand mediocre book into awful film.

The Giver

Despite divergence from slower, more philosophical source material, this underdeveloped dystopia could still have given more game to satisfy the viewers’ hunger.  Jeff’s mediocre mental montages barely Bridge the gap between surface silliness and deeper meaning while beautiful B&W cinematography further undermines premise through vast superiority to clichéd color counterpart.