Star Trek Beyond

Simon says he’ll date a zebra, but can’t quite Pegg the writing and the whole enterprise comes crashing down. Even zero-g disbelief suspension can’t save this shipwreck, which starts with miraculously parting principals from slaughtered sea of red-shirts, treks through a minefield of coincidence and culminates in a predictable fistfight.

Green Room

Picard gets upset when Chekov refuses to ignore a red-shirt death. Shock rock romp provides solid violence and tension you can really sink your teeth into but seems envious of both the artistry and sincerity of its less yellow predecessor.  Plot holes and unjustified twists ruin simple but tense premise.

Only Lovers Left Alive

Loki and the Ice Queen make a chillingly heart-warming couple in the moody and brooding Lost in Transfusion.  Jarmusch’s precise cinematography, characteristically superhuman musical decisions and deliberate avoidance of don’t-say-‘vampire’ clichés transform this interview into an epic.  Wasikowska chews her screen-time wonderfully while Yelchin quenches a thirst for comedic relief. 

Star Trek Into Darkness

Ludicrous flying car conclusion aside, the alternate Enterprise’s second journey is even more satisfying.  After some far-fetched terrorism and an old-western show-down with some Klingons’ cousins, reKirk et al learn that coming between Robocop and Sherlock is startlingly dangerous.  Oh, spoiler… the reveal is beautifully justified with countless ikahnic throwbacks.