Star Trek Beyond

Simon says he’ll date a zebra, but can’t quite Pegg the writing and the whole enterprise comes crashing down. Even zero-g disbelief suspension can’t save this shipwreck, which starts with miraculously parting principals from slaughtered sea of red-shirts, treks through a minefield of coincidence and culminates in a predictable fistfight.

Fast Five

Best of franchise, with everything bigger except title. All series players have great parts, and music cues fill holes left by talent quality. Walker drives but he can’t act, and Diesel definitely crushes Rock, but no one watches this movie for drama. Brilliant physics defying car stunts make it fast-astic.