Poseidon

Most satisfactory remake since the original Adventure. Das Perfect Boot director navigates familiar waters and follows original plot loyally but redefines characters in creative and satisfactory way. Russell performs impressively and his death is almost as impressive as Fergie’s is enjoyable. Bit emotionally campy at points but otherwise fun film.

Planet Terror

Rodriguez succeeds where Tarantino fails with film that both pays homage to the genre and is enjoyable to watch. Missing reel gag is absolutely brilliant, as is casting of celebrities in terrible roles. The effects get better as they get worse, and the performances are brilliantly bad. Terrifically funny flick.

Nine

Segues poorly between compelling acting and flashy music videos. Fergie delivers fantastic performance prompting suspicions that everyone else acted down to make her look better. If Rob Marshall’s goal was to create a barely passable schizophrenic remake to mirror his character he succeeded admirably. Disproves math: 8 1/2 > 9.