Captain Fantastic

Aragorn takes his Hobbits Off the Road in The Swiss Family Mortensens. Fantastic Western analysis of varying parenting methods Promises its Captain an opportunity to air his private philosophies and parts. Bizarrely abrupt third act twist hardly detracts from the most touchingly intellectual family adventure that Wes wishes he’d directed.

Unknown

Neeson’s life gets Taken away, and no one has faith that he’s actually Aslan. Hitchcock-esque thriller that actually ends in the only rational, albeit implausible conclusion. Bit cheesy at times, but overall a fairly decent genre flick. Kruger is inglorious at best and Langella can’t get out of the box.

The Box

Richard Kelly delivers another tale from outside the box… of human comprehension. Like the inane questions in Netflix radio commercials, Kelly confidently plops out senseless plot-point. Marsden and Diaz manage to maintain some legitimacy amidst the madness, while a well two-faced Langella shows Nolan how it’s done. Boxes the brain.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Ex-sitcom Labaeiouf replaces current sitcomer Sheen (cameo, duh) and becomes an actor. Mulligan shines but the Gekko seems twisted out of character. Starts well but crashes midway through and Even Steven just rides the oddly edited rollercoaster till the anti-climactic end. Current affairs familiarity can’t save this Stone from sinking.