Solo

Set longer than long time ago, this space spectacle successfully stands alone. An appropriate amount of camp and coolness lend further fuel to a film that doles up the right ratio of references to revelations and, ‘trust’y tropes aside, manages to maintain tension despite obvious direction and less obvious directors.

Avengers: Infinity War

Whoever thought this many marvelous heroes could run the Gauntlet must’ve been Infinitely Stoned. But they somehow succeeded, so here’s 25 words, cuz Oh Snap!

Legend

Hardy does double-tom to deliver kray-kray performance in an otherwise bland London crime epic. Goodblokes feels like a poor Guy Richie piece as it walks a straight line from start to finish with the only arc provided by love story which is almost as forced and underwhelming as Browning’s voiceover.

Captain America: Civil War

Two guys shy of an Avengers flick, Captain vs. Iron: Dawn of Cinema deals with identical themes of dreadful DC doppelganger but beautifully bolsters battles with empathetic characters, meaningful motivations, and plot logic. Even cinematic universe building blocks feel like more than just superfluous strands to expand Marvel’s dark web.   

Mortdecai

Johnny digs himself depper in mediocre mustachioed Stink Panther, playing a professional almost as inept as the producer who opted for R-rating.  Fantastic globe-trotting transitions hardly make up for clichéd plot, witless humor, and un-empathetic (except for gags (the bad kind)) characters.  If Mort means ‘death’ does ‘cai’ mean career?

Transcendence

Pfister pounds a heavy-handed reverse Matrix out of No-lan’s Land.  Sludge slow pacing, artificially injected character arcs, and unsatisfying set-pieces fill the space between the unnecessary bookends like so much bland code in a self-destructive program.  Or perhaps it simply transcended human audiences and would be better enjoyed by machines.