Blade Runner 2049

Do Holograms Dream of Ephemeral Horses digs deeper into philosophical questions of its predecessor without terminating older model’s ambiguity. Astoundingly beautiful cinematography justifies extended Blade Runtime and occasionally over-obscure plot programming. Smart script runs the blade’s edge of pretension and afFords cast the opportunity to birth life from machination. Interlinked.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: An Old Hope resurrects the mythic feel, playful tone, and wondrous excitement of its pre-prequeled predecessors, perhaps a bit too exactly.  Solo chews up scenery but Leia is re-imagined as a droid, while new faces breath life into Ta2ine, and vague visions force fans to watch future films.

Cowboys and Aliens

Independence day in Arizona. James Bond’s magic bracelet helps him fight not so Super eight thousand alien gold-diggers, because they stupidly abducted Indiana Wayne’s milkshake hungry son. Ham-handed character development, ridiculously silly story, and inanely Wilde phoenix scene add up to a film that tries too hard. Camp vs. A-listers.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Campy action, lame dialogue, and freaky aliens illustrate Lucas’ involvement in this incredible desecration of an iconic series. Shia the Beouf nicely compliments the worst performances of Blanchett, Hurt, and Ford’s careers. Digital ants, Shia of the Apes, and a moronic waterfall car chase add to this colossal Crystal Skullf**k.