Swiss Army Man

If Michel Gondry had directed Castaway… Dano’s Tom Hankson uses Harry Rotter’s magic wand to point his way home, while expounding on life, love, and masturbatory mothers. Confident swan-dive into uninhibited surrealism works well for the setup, but even the farts lose steam when they hit the straightened out twist.

Train wreck

Amy approaches this tale with her typical bluntness and sincerity, then sells out in the third act. When she gives up her alcohol and weed, the film gives up its voice and credibility. Hader, Larson and a slew of supporting comedians are under-utilized while Lebron scores a surprising slam dunk.

Horns

Stephen Prince’s first adaptation is devilishly amusing and demonically inconsistent.   If the Cohens and Raimi teamed up (again) you’d get the first half.  Then the second gets raped to hell by weak motivations and excessive shock attempts.  Horny Potter breaks bad and blends in the best of his transatlantic co-stars. 

The Woman in Black

Harry Poltergeist plays a terrifyingly unconvincing widow who inadvertently murders an elementary school by ignoring everyone’s (including brother Dumbledore’s) advice and then gets himself trapped in the skyfall mansion with Cher, who mistakes him for a child and tries to eat his soul Jim Jones style.  Oh, and a twist…