The Monuments Men

Danny Ocean hears artocaust has occurred and assembles his Fantastic Mr. Friends (plus an Artist), even hiring Private Ryan to consult as they steal stolen scenes.  Band of Grandfathers’ Downfall is total tonal confusion between corny comedy and heavy-handed history resulting in a monumentally unsatisfactory Intollerable Basterd of a film.

The Wolf of Wall Street

Leo plays Gekko Gone Wild in the Goodfellas of the gadget age.  Epic over-long catalog of various debaucheries available to anyone good at greed.  Nails comedic beats with help from shirt clad McConaughey and Hill’s blinding teeth.  Pushes limits for runtime, T&A,and Fs while promoting the redemptive qualities of cocaine.

The Artist

Pseudo-past prediction of Singin’ in the Rain complete with Clockwork McDowell. OSS 117 covers accent with silence, and delivers perfect Clooney meets Carrey performance. Reminder of when Goodman was good and Cromwell did well. Film tightropes between artistic concept and quirky gimmick and successfully crosses silent chasm to thunderous applause.