Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Columbus discovers American world for Harry Potter in Polite Dispute of the Titans. Abandons senseless book plot in favor of alternative irrational national traipse, and adds healthy dose of Star Wars dialogue with lightning-saber battle to match. Only two performances shine from thunder; Alpa Chino’s furry bootysweat, and Coogan’s Pacino.

Tropic Thunder

Stiller triumphantly directs brilliant send-up of movie-making process. Downey Jr. is black and Black is Farley, with Cruise and McConaughey delivering their first and best supporting roles. Plot necessitates some suspension of disbelief but makes doing so easy. Attacked, not for blackface, but for ‘retard’ discussion. They’re characters, you halfs!