Avengers: Infinity War

Whoever thought this many marvelous heroes could run the Gauntlet must’ve been Infinitely Stoned. But they somehow succeeded, so here’s 25 words, cuz Oh Snap!

Captain America: Civil War

Two guys shy of an Avengers flick, Captain vs. Iron: Dawn of Cinema deals with identical themes of dreadful DC doppelganger but beautifully bolsters battles with empathetic characters, meaningful motivations, and plot logic. Even cinematic universe building blocks feel like more than just superfluous strands to expand Marvel’s dark web.   

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Hawkeye’s housewife and Widow’s green envy only distract from endless avenging.  Spader’s voice and Bettany’s vision add solid sci-fi elements while Johnson and Olsen just wish dey had zese powers when ze Godzilla attacked.  Satisfies audience expectations of another fun fight fest but Ultron’s age proves to be… very young.

Snowpiercer

Captain Antarctica leads fierce fight to put ‘gory’ back in ‘allegory’ as the metaphorical world hurtles around the real one.  Clever concept pits social structure caricatures (wounded Hurt and swine-like Swinton) against each other on fast-paced but farcical rollercoaster that even Christof can’t save from a train-wreck of an ending.

Captain America

Evans flames on patriotically in this exceptionally simple action flick. Marvelous performances and aesthetic make up for complete absence of plot originality. Basically a fast guy with a strong shield does exactly what he was supposed to do (fights Agent Red), without any internal conflict, plot twists, or historical relevance.

The Losers

Racing the only slightly better Expendable Team, this appropriately loses. Evans steals every scene, but audience wonders why he’d want them. A blisteringly bad bad-guy and the Comedian’s subpar jokes can’t even make this comic-lover’s nightmare into a winner. A couple great kabooms, but the result is far from Earth-shattering.

Push

McGuigan’s lucky hand parks this somewhat silly psychic film, not at all based on anything by Sapphire, in the realm of creative cinematic realization. Visually stunning and tightly cut, with solid performances from under appreciated cast. Too bad a Stitcher couldn’t have healed the third act and attracted more watchers.

Sunshine

Intelligent deep-space thriller with depth of Solaris and the excitement of Alien. Boyle goes big scale for this one and uses Fincher-esque camera moves to restart the sun. Stellar international cast explore the burden of saving humanity while struggling to learn why Boyle trashed the film in the third act.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

George Michael vs. Anne (Bland), Superman, and Human Torch in stylized masterpiece from Edgar ‘Shaun’ Wright. Cera gives depth to his usual character. Uses incredible stylization to compliment, not replace, content but periodically goes too far. Struggles to top opening fights and premature Evans introduction but still manages admirably. Epic!