Spectre

Chicken little was right.  The sky has fallen, and though Bond landed on a couch, everything else was reduced to rubble.  That includes the narrative, the world, the supporting characters, and even the franchise staples.  Indecipherable conspiracy, mediocre action, and tonal tedium culminate with an inglorious villain who frankly blows.

Carnage

Trapped in a tiny apartment, Oscar winners perform a charming play.  Foster leads the pack performance-wise while Reilly and Waltz play it heavy, but it’s difficult to make such an underwhelming story truly compelling on the screen.  Bookend shots leave apartment but stay far from kid subjects.  Director Polanski’s choice?

Water for Elephants

Pattinson exceeds expectations alongside poorly-paced Waltz and withering Reese. Holbrook lends appropriately elderly narration to an exceptionally bland story methodically enhanced by beautiful music and well-designed sets. Overall, aside from the elephant, one of the most forgettable films in recent history. Less a circus spectacule than a big bottom sideshow.

Inglourious Basterds

Spaghetti western cooked by Tarantino and served on a Nazi plate. With occasional flashy exceptions (Samuel Jackson), Tarantino controls himself and does the genre justice. Pitt creates perfect Eastwood or Wayne-esque character alongside amazing lesser-knowns, Fassbender, Laurent, and Waltz. Contains Roth’s best directed film yet and a histourically accurette ending.