Stories We Tell

Just one story.  Maybe Sarah Polley’s mom  cheated.  Maybe Sarah's the result of the affair.  She is.  Her dad isn’t her real dad.  Really.  DNA test proves it.  Some people know.  Then more people know.  She makes a documentary.  Sneaky reenactments.  Not real.  Like her dad.  Spoiler: redundant and repetitive.

Pacific Rim

Hunnam’s weak performance pierces the armor of this VFX juggernaut allowing excessive cheesiness to seep in and saturate the coolness.  Honey I Built the Robot eliminates any scientific credibility.  Clones, pregnancy, barcode scanner… boom.  Easily the biggest crap creature ever to crawl from the oceanic butthole in Del Toro’s head. 

All is Lost

The Sting III casts away film tropes like dialogue and story arc.  The deep Red ford alternates between extreme ingenuity and lack of foresight, so the gravity of the situation only becomes apparent when no imaginary animals leap aboard to keep things interesting.  Meanwhile pirates distract Philips from noticing flares.

August: Osage County

A-list episode of family feud is another solid stage-to-screen adaptation, with obligatory exterior additions to make it a movie.  Struggles a bit with pacing and a clunky ending.  Mulroney plays the only flat note, while Cumberbatch and Nicholson’s amazing performances are overshadowed by strung out Streep and raging, running-things Roberts.

American Hustle

O’Hustle rallies Silver Fightings Castlist as a batch of unlikely and unlikeable grifters in the poorly-paced Decentfellas.  Impressive performances are weighed down by a structure more cumbersome than any pot-belly, voiceover worse than any comb-over, and an unsatisfying B-Sting climax.  Neither crime-caper clever nor comedy funny, but perhaps it’s con-artistic.   

Man of Steel

It takes two Robin Hoods to raise him, but just a little journalistic know-how to identify him.  Oilrig jenga, 18-wheeler rubik’s cube… but saving the dog is too conspicuous?   Weird Crowe ex(machina)position.  Then two immortals fight, killing countless civilians, until one of them dodges the sequel by deciding to die.