The Lincoln Lawyer

A film of firsts. Macy plays something other than a loser. McConaughey and Philipe deliver spectacular performances. Both keep shirts on. Non-Grisham lawyer movie is riveting and suspenseful. Very nearly perfect crime thriller with a stellar supporting cast. See if McConaughey and Lucas face-to-face doesn’t look like a mirror image.

Horrible Bosses

Two Jasons enjoy a sunny Day in Philadelphia alongside crazy Cruise-esque performances from three veteran talents. Arbitrary antics and quick dialogue feel like a happy Hangover, as does the meandering and somewhat senseless plot. Funny film but leaves viewer wanting a little more nymphoniac Anistons, Killer Kevins and Cokehead Colins.

Water for Elephants

Pattinson exceeds expectations alongside poorly-paced Waltz and withering Reese. Holbrook lends appropriately elderly narration to an exceptionally bland story methodically enhanced by beautiful music and well-designed sets. Overall, aside from the elephant, one of the most forgettable films in recent history. Less a circus spectacule than a big bottom sideshow.

Fast Five

Best of franchise, with everything bigger except title. All series players have great parts, and music cues fill holes left by talent quality. Walker drives but he can’t act, and Diesel definitely crushes Rock, but no one watches this movie for drama. Brilliant physics defying car stunts make it fast-astic.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Pirates sells smoothly on after dumping Bloom baggage. Depp continues to justify the franchise but Barbosa gets a bigger role in this scaled down sequel. Brilliantly censored mermaids, Penelope’s other cruise, and an appropriately ludicrous fountain plot round out this small seas adventure. But why are the rum references gone?

Thor

Alarmingly impressive film for silly story. Divinely beautiful digital deity-ville oddly compliments cutesy clever Earth encounters. Repeated Avengers plugs seem out of place in this Norse American titan clash. Cosmic plotholes and a less than stellar ending aren’t enough to kill the immortally enjoyable quasi-shakespearean plot of Thor-oughly enjoyable film.

X-Men: First Class

Kick Ass director fixes Origins with series saving reboot. McAvoy and Lawrence hold their own, but Fassbender delivers powerhouse performance followed closely by six superpowers of Kevin Bacon. Inferior to first two films on account of mediocre supporting mutants, sub sized plot holes, and too much shrieking First Class flying.

Super 8

E.T. and Cloverfield copulate to produce alarmingly super film. Spielberg’s foul-mouthed kids with amazing dynamic blend almost too well into Abrams’ explosions and mystery. The result is an exciting War of the Goonies which can become unrealistic at times but ultimately satisfies. Charm of the 80s with effects of today.

Midnight in Paris

Wilson plays Woody well in Allen’s best and most accessible comedy to date. Midnight in Cairo features brilliant fantasy and an impressive array of modern stars perfectly portraying classic artists in funny but truthful ways. Allen did his research, and not just on sexual angst. Dissatisfying end elements and McAdams.

The Tree of Life

Malick’s thick green sphere finally features enough Discovery channel shots to feel justified and transforms into straight story intermission for a Koyanisqaatsi Adaptation. Dad Pitt merits another Oscar nod alongside stellar younger version of a barely seen Penn. Beautiful and Meditative film that drags from redundancies and overuse of screensavers.