Whatever Works

Woody Allen writes a fantasy for himself and casts the person most like him to play the lead. David excels in the role and is aided by an excellent supporting cast. Allen’s film-referential jokes work better here than ever before and he succeeds in creating his most likeable assholes yet.

Bridget Jones's Diary

Stereotypical chick flick in which neurotic girl must choose between Hugh Grant and Mr. Darcy, both playing themselves. Culminates in a series of clichés ranging from suitors fighting in street to lead running after missed love. On the bright side, Zellwegger’s weight is inversely proportionate to how tolerable she is.

Hancock

Superhero quasi-comedy that transforms tonally from Bad Boys to Seven Pounds. Sometimes funny humor fades out with introduction of convoluted back-plot that never gets resolved. Theron and Bateman neither hurt nor help while Smith gives best performance as occasionally annoying hobo superman. Uses inexplicable tornados to overshadow subpar flying effects.

How to Train Your Dragon

Baruchel’s nasal voice and a couple minor plot holes aren’t nearly enough to bring down this fantastical animated epic. Combines fantastic animation, loveable characters, great story, Leonidas’ voice, and an adorable cat-lizard Stitch dragon to make an incredible film. Fans of Harry Potter, Madagascar, or Eragon should like this instead.

La Marseillaise

Renoir’s rendition of the revolution with his typical theatricality, but lacking his usual empathetic characters. A well staged action period piece is brought down by melodramatic acting, heavy-handed plotting, and obvious political bias. Varies tonally throughout, but manages to achieve each of the tones it goes for. Vivre la revolution!

Inglourious Basterds

Spaghetti western cooked by Tarantino and served on a Nazi plate. With occasional flashy exceptions (Samuel Jackson), Tarantino controls himself and does the genre justice. Pitt creates perfect Eastwood or Wayne-esque character alongside amazing lesser-knowns, Fassbender, Laurent, and Waltz. Contains Roth’s best directed film yet and a histourically accurette ending.

Red River

Hawks soars as Clift casts shadows on a waning Wayne. An excellent Western from the master of dialogue. Wayne’s performance marks high points and low points of film with incredible moments arriving from a not quite credible character. Whether or not the characters do, the film certainly completes its journey.

Hunger

Other Steve McQueen makes an unbelievably well shot film and hangs on shots forever to make sure everyone notices. Slight segue issues between speech-free majority and 16-minute one-shot mini-play. Fassbender performs incredibly and pulls a Christian Bale midway through. Disturbing how enthralling a dark topic can be if handled properly.

Little Dieter Needs to Fly

Documentary basis for ‘Rescue Dawn’ from the same director. Likability of Dieter more than compensates for inability to see his story and raises this film above ‘Dawn.’ Moments feel too manipulative. Your torture haunts you still? Let’s recreate it on camera. Arguably worst element of filmjavascript:void(0) is Disney channel title.

Antichrist

Von Trier misogynizes all over Dafoe and Gainsbourg who manage incredible performances. Not necessarily great film but beautifully shot, intensely thought provoking, and loaded with symbolism. Don’t be fooled by opening hour of dialogue, later scenes will permanently change perception of whetstones and scissors. Quasi-pornographic PSA for child safety gates.