True Story

Hillco’s performances are almost as straight as the truly twistless plot.  Certainly doesn’t reflect any unethical embellishments, as a compelling and well-paced first half falls terribly flat and is sentenced to an underwhelming conclusion without chance of appeal to anyone.  Finale will leave audiences wondering why This is the End.

The Monuments Men

Danny Ocean hears artocaust has occurred and assembles his Fantastic Mr. Friends (plus an Artist), even hiring Private Ryan to consult as they steal stolen scenes.  Band of Grandfathers’ Downfall is total tonal confusion between corny comedy and heavy-handed history resulting in a monumentally unsatisfactory Intollerable Basterd of a film.

Brooklyn

Saoirse drags her lonely bones to America as her accent finally goes home.  Despite an understated plot Emory certainly isn’t bored as he brandoes it again.  Walters stays seated and stands out as several other wizards immigrate into a story that is endearing and pleasantly simplistic but not spectacularly memorable.

Maps to the Stars

If Robert Altman and David Lynch had an abortion.  Several stars fell to Earth then took tragic wrong turns to end up lost in Losmopolis.  Julianne gives moore than this film deserves while a terrible child actor, tedious cinematography and hilarious fake fire distract from Cronenberg’s poorly plotted cartographic nightmare.

The Immigrant

Gray handles period in his usual somber shades. Cotillard polishes performance perfectly through stilted but compelling character arc opposite un-empathetic Phoenix and less than magical Renner.  On-the-nose dialogue disorder prevents emotional power from crossing over. Ultimately pays off with clever reveal and moral message even grayer than the skyline.

How to Train Your Dragon 2

Hiccup grows up and his world grows out, expanding to include contrived backstory, overly complex dragon rules and countless questions about how everyone knows where they’re going.  Teen friends flirt until frozen reunion leads to most tedious dragon fight ever. Despite stilted pacing and awkward arcs, still an entertaining flight.