Deepwater Horizon

Deepwater’s disaster is always on the horizon, but Berg bravely floats it out until the second half of the film. Deep-south accents are almost as difficult to decipher as the rig’s mechanics, but whereas the latter combusts horrifically, the former lends credibility to a crew’s worth of deeply touching performances.

True Story

Hillco’s performances are almost as straight as the truly twistless plot.  Certainly doesn’t reflect any unethical embellishments, as a compelling and well-paced first half falls terribly flat and is sentenced to an underwhelming conclusion without chance of appeal to anyone.  Finale will leave audiences wondering why This is the End.

The Wolf of Wall Street

Leo plays Gekko Gone Wild in the Goodfellas of the gadget age.  Epic over-long catalog of various debaucheries available to anyone good at greed.  Nails comedic beats with help from shirt clad McConaughey and Hill’s blinding teeth.  Pushes limits for runtime, T&A,and Fs while promoting the redemptive qualities of cocaine.

Unstoppable

Very Difficult to Stop.  Washington and Pine’s chemistry is as solid as it is clichéd.  Tense action thriller marred by overuse of epileptic and practically impossible news cameras and ‘Why didn’t you do that in the first place?’ ending.  Scott, Denzel, and a train.  Déjà vu 123.  RIP Tony Scott.

Brothers (2009)

About time Donnie Darko and Peter Parker played ‘title.’ Inferior to older Danish brother, and somehow felt cold despite deep performances. Shepard and Portman fill out family adequately but eldest daughter steals the show. “Do you know what I did with these hands?” Yeah, Tobey, we know. You shot web.