Heist

De Niro is lured out of his Casino to face another baseball bat wielding supervillain when title ends 30 minutes in and lukewarm Heat transitions into slow Speed. Ludicrous law-enforcement tactics make sleight of hand twist seem plausible in a thriller that finally hits its stride as a cigarette commercial.

American Hustle

O’Hustle rallies Silver Fightings Castlist as a batch of unlikely and unlikeable grifters in the poorly-paced Decentfellas.  Impressive performances are weighed down by a structure more cumbersome than any pot-belly, voiceover worse than any comb-over, and an unsatisfying B-Sting climax.  Neither crime-caper clever nor comedy funny, but perhaps it’s con-artistic.   

Limitless

An unfair story about a loser who gets really lucky and has all of his problems solved. Problem with making a movie about a genius is the film makers have to keep up, and matching Fight Club’s stylistic flare just isn’t enough. Cooper’s decent but De Niro’s reached his limit.

Heat

Father and son Corleone finally meet onscreen in the godfather of all bank heist films. Incredible cast and intricately woven multi-dimensional storyline raise the temperature far above that of a cops and robbers flick. 90s high point for every actor involved. Defined by cut coffee chat and intense city firefight.

Stone

American History why? Norton is a Dead Man Acting opposite De Niro’s blunderingly pathetic dislikable protagonist. Too little empathy plus too little plot equals a film that sinks like a Stone. Jovovich’s cuteness, nudity, and remarkably well-dropped accent almost justify a viewing with fast-forward button ready. Lock this one away.

Stardust

The best comedy fantasy since Princess Bride and an outstandingly clever film. A cast of supporting superstars surround a relative unknown as he makes his way through an ingeniously funny fairy-tale land. De Niro and Pfeiffer provide two of the best performances, of the film, and of their recent years.

Machete

Trejo finally gets lead role as Rodriguez realizes that his bad movies are his best. Simultaneously lampoons lost genre while actually analyzing current affairs issue. Beautifully incorporates footage from source trailer and provides caricature stereotype characters for Latino cast and wild ones for De Niro, Lohan, and surprising impressive Segal.