The Silence of the Lambs

The definitive killer flick features not one, but two of the best villains ever. Hungry-brained Hopkins versus mousy-cute recruit Foster is a match worth watching. Made innovations in the art of deceptive editing, redefined the Oscar term ‘lead actor,’ and likely provided inspiration for Face-Off. Definitely put this lotion-picture on.

Despicable Me

Dreamworks’ answer to The Incredibles is slightly less so. Cute but overall predictable supervillain romp with amusing Bond gadgets an army of jaundiced Oompa-Loompas, and a decent dose of slapstick humor to keep things afloat. What’s truly despicable? Hiring famous actors then having them use severe accents. Great song though.

Heat

Father and son Corleone finally meet onscreen in the godfather of all bank heist films. Incredible cast and intricately woven multi-dimensional storyline raise the temperature far above that of a cops and robbers flick. 90s high point for every actor involved. Defined by cut coffee chat and intense city firefight.

The Graduate

Hoffman’s career (not in plastics) is born as the shmuck nerd star of this strange quasi-incestuous, morally ambiguous, sexually liberal story, that John Waters would have ruined completely. Inconic cinematic landmark that speaks volumes with its ambiguity, and is funny and charming to boot. Perfect final shot may seduce you.

Solaris (2002)

More visually impressive and in some ways more insightful, but certainly less revolutionary than Tarkovskiy’s original adaptation, Soderbergh’s rendition has larger scope but smaller span. Clooney and co-stars perform well in the stark but beautifully designed space station. Beautiful cinematography and breathtaking effects create visually spectacular rendition of original novel.

Leaving Las Vegas

Nicholas drinks himself out of his quirky Cage and into an incredible performance and perverse relationship with Elisabeth Shue gone wild at heart. Figgis’ most mainstream film and best character study is an almost impressively bleak downward spiral that somehow feels uplifting and sweet. Despite seriousness, begs for drinking game.

Edmond

An even worse Mamet movie than if he had actually directed it. Macy plays his usual loser, but without the usual empathy, and his spiral through insanity and into utter senselessness is just irritating to watch. Barely viewable hodgepodge of Woody Allen sex rants and Oliver Stone pseudo-intellectual violent rampages.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Disney turns random Fantasia segment into better Percy Jackson. Cage’s quirkiness perfectly fits his magical mentor for Baruchel’s nasal nerd while ample effects make the show enjoyable. Implausible romance, completely unintimidating bad guys, and Pirates style random rule invention prevent this film from being anything other than a kid’s flick.

The Other Guys

Amusing buddy cop parody that flounders on story and runs every joke into the ground. Coasts on how stupid Wahlberg thinks everyone is, and Mendez helps with appropriately out of placeness. Plummets halfway through when focus shifts to story, but unlike Mace Windu and the Rock, the crash takes forever.

TRON: Legacy

Visually stunning, conceptually creative and adequately loyal sequel to genre classic. Actors lend impressively deep performances to this effects extravaganza, and only overly-used digital Bridges falls short in both regards. Logical leaps, senseless scenes of Sheen’s Bowie and various violent vignettes are all made tolerable by Daft Punk’s inceptional base.

The Joneses

Extremely original plot populated with phenomenal and very pretty cast. Duchovny and Demi channel real life marital success to give life to lifestyle. Film cleverly reveals the mystery slowly but hits a standstill after that. Too many ideas and too little motivation twist the final act into an unmarketable mess.

Howl's Moving Castle

Another creatively conceived world rendered in what may be Miyazaki’s most astonishing visuals yet. Interesting American casting including far too masculine Bale. But viewer spirits pull away as Castle disintegrates to a Howling mess in the third act and then rewrites the textbook on deus ex machine to save itself.

Stone

American History why? Norton is a Dead Man Acting opposite De Niro’s blunderingly pathetic dislikable protagonist. Too little empathy plus too little plot equals a film that sinks like a Stone. Jovovich’s cuteness, nudity, and remarkably well-dropped accent almost justify a viewing with fast-forward button ready. Lock this one away.

There's Something About Mary

Stiller and the Farrellys stir their collective quirkiness together and produce a comedy classic with enough memorable laughs to almost make up for their career mistakes. Plot meanders enjoyably, only occasionally straying too far, and a brilliant collection of quasi-cameos keep the insanity fun. Then surprise, an athlete and emotions!

Drive Angry

More like, Driven Mad. Rodriguez-esque self-aware B film accidentally recreates worst parts of the genre. Cage under-overacts but Heard acts gorgeous and almost distracts from disasterous film. Fichtner’s highlight performance can’t make up for the horrible effects. No plotholes, but rather an angry plot abyss with occasional islands of solidity.

Dark City

Rufus is confused by lack of daylight so naturally he turns to Jack Bauer to count the hours. Proyas applies Crow sensibility to Chinatown sci-fi and populates his crazy Brazillian city with Riff Raff, Hurt, and a dreamy Connelly. Moody, atmospheric and clever, and outside the Matrix by one year.

The Lincoln Lawyer

A film of firsts. Macy plays something other than a loser. McConaughey and Philipe deliver spectacular performances. Both keep shirts on. Non-Grisham lawyer movie is riveting and suspenseful. Very nearly perfect crime thriller with a stellar supporting cast. See if McConaughey and Lucas face-to-face doesn’t look like a mirror image.

Horrible Bosses

Two Jasons enjoy a sunny Day in Philadelphia alongside crazy Cruise-esque performances from three veteran talents. Arbitrary antics and quick dialogue feel like a happy Hangover, as does the meandering and somewhat senseless plot. Funny film but leaves viewer wanting a little more nymphoniac Anistons, Killer Kevins and Cokehead Colins.

Water for Elephants

Pattinson exceeds expectations alongside poorly-paced Waltz and withering Reese. Holbrook lends appropriately elderly narration to an exceptionally bland story methodically enhanced by beautiful music and well-designed sets. Overall, aside from the elephant, one of the most forgettable films in recent history. Less a circus spectacule than a big bottom sideshow.

Fast Five

Best of franchise, with everything bigger except title. All series players have great parts, and music cues fill holes left by talent quality. Walker drives but he can’t act, and Diesel definitely crushes Rock, but no one watches this movie for drama. Brilliant physics defying car stunts make it fast-astic.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Pirates sells smoothly on after dumping Bloom baggage. Depp continues to justify the franchise but Barbosa gets a bigger role in this scaled down sequel. Brilliantly censored mermaids, Penelope’s other cruise, and an appropriately ludicrous fountain plot round out this small seas adventure. But why are the rum references gone?

Thor

Alarmingly impressive film for silly story. Divinely beautiful digital deity-ville oddly compliments cutesy clever Earth encounters. Repeated Avengers plugs seem out of place in this Norse American titan clash. Cosmic plotholes and a less than stellar ending aren’t enough to kill the immortally enjoyable quasi-shakespearean plot of Thor-oughly enjoyable film.

X-Men: First Class

Kick Ass director fixes Origins with series saving reboot. McAvoy and Lawrence hold their own, but Fassbender delivers powerhouse performance followed closely by six superpowers of Kevin Bacon. Inferior to first two films on account of mediocre supporting mutants, sub sized plot holes, and too much shrieking First Class flying.

Super 8

E.T. and Cloverfield copulate to produce alarmingly super film. Spielberg’s foul-mouthed kids with amazing dynamic blend almost too well into Abrams’ explosions and mystery. The result is an exciting War of the Goonies which can become unrealistic at times but ultimately satisfies. Charm of the 80s with effects of today.

Midnight in Paris

Wilson plays Woody well in Allen’s best and most accessible comedy to date. Midnight in Cairo features brilliant fantasy and an impressive array of modern stars perfectly portraying classic artists in funny but truthful ways. Allen did his research, and not just on sexual angst. Dissatisfying end elements and McAdams.

The Tree of Life

Malick’s thick green sphere finally features enough Discovery channel shots to feel justified and transforms into straight story intermission for a Koyanisqaatsi Adaptation. Dad Pitt merits another Oscar nod alongside stellar younger version of a barely seen Penn. Beautiful and Meditative film that drags from redundancies and overuse of screensavers.