The Blues Brothers

Far too long but appropriately iconic. SNL brothers on mission from God flee Nazis, Cowboys and Princess Leia in this oddball epic. Contains two feature length car-wreck scenes, not to mention musical numbers from an army of Jazz cameos such as James Brown, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, and Steven Spielberg.

The Punisher

Thomas Jane punishes Travolta for killing his family and aging so well. He becomes anti-Batman and delivers brilliantly cruel punishment to… well, everyone. He encounters an apartment occupied by a punk, an obese comedian, and a supermodel, but leaves to go on a killing rampage that ends with satisfying cheese.

Event Horizon

Clever sci-fi thriller that borrows conceptually from Solaris and stylistically from Hellraiser. Fishburne and Isaacs make good additions to Alien crew, but Neill’s Jack Torrance is underwhelming. Brilliant set design, Stargate excluded, and effects that beg for 3-D distract from a plot that occasionally tries too hard to wax philosophic.

Independence Day

Emmerich’s first and best version of Earth’s destruction. Combines horror shocks, dramatic beats, clever quips, and exhilarating action to form a film that is ultimately very satisfying. Even Pullman and Quaid manage to deliver in this seminal invasion film that marked the action movie hand off from Goldblum to Smith.

Vanishing on 7th Street

Clever premise for another philosophical endeavor from machinist Anderson. Opening is brilliantly crafted, but the scares quickly become redundant flickers. Falls apart in the second act and gets darker still in the third as the subtext is stated overtly, and the universe logic changes. Ends in A&E’s walking horse shot.

Trick 'r Treat

If the occasional scares aren’t distracting enough to prevent you from piecing together the jigsaw plot, then the laughable cheesiness will. A perfect slasher opening paves the onramp for a highway of scatterbrained Halloween mediocrity that breaks new ground only in its willingness to kill kids. Scariest element: Cox’s nose.

Red State

Smith’s foray into horror is as unusual as one might expect. The premise is terrifying but quickly transforms into a formulaic Christian Hostel. But don’t worry, the torture porn quickly transforms into something infinitely stranger, and culminates in what could be a study on existentialism. Parks’ performance makes evil recreational.

Paul

Shaun and Fuzz team up again but without Wright everything goes wrong. The jokes fall flat, the plot is convoluted, and the character’s are mostly un-sympathetic. Kristen Wiig and the animating team responsible for CGI-ET are the films only saving graces. This Pineapple Express Encounter is less super than bad.

Zoolander

Stiller’s still quirky after naming himself most beautiful man alive. Ferrell finds forte as supporting man in fashion world. Film dons star-studded string of cameos and flaunts it like no other. Ultimately a hilarious movie with OK plot but lots of heart. Great quotes for those who don’t read good.

JCVD

Damme, what an impressive dramatic turn. JCVD proves his acting chops are as powerful as his roundhouse kicks. Tightly shot, but still gritty and stylistic. Moral ambiguity strengthens realism of film that shows JC’s personal life and career debates. More drama or return to sugary pulp roles? The Belgian Waffles.

V for Vendetta

Wachowski’s shine from behind their producer’s mask in this alternative dystopia. What’s worse than machines taking over? The British. Dramatically shifts the focus of source material but improves on plot and produces a better story. Agent Smith begins transformation into voice acting, and Portman proves that she really is Keira.

Last Night

Keira learns what love actually is and Worthington proves his worth with this dramatic escape from Clash of the Avatar’s Salvation. Slow precise and beautifully edited film, which seems something of a western answer to Wong Kar Wai. In the Mood for Lust perhaps, and an ending to deserve it.

Due Date

Phillips’ follow-up film feels like bad hangover after great party. Foxx is Downey’s downfall and Soloist isn’t an isolated incident. Someone skipped script revision process and just threw two great actors into wacky situation with hope that it would work out. Poorly conceived, premature comedic bastard with appropriately terrible delivery.

Limitless

An unfair story about a loser who gets really lucky and has all of his problems solved. Problem with making a movie about a genius is the film makers have to keep up, and matching Fight Club’s stylistic flare just isn’t enough. Cooper’s decent but De Niro’s reached his limit.

Contagion

Soderbergh Traffics in another terrifying global film. Sprawling story adequately accomplishes conveying scope of realistic doomsday scenario, but fails to see some it’s character studies through to completion. Strong performances with epidemic of Oscars are sometimes over-powered by look-at-me editing, and a pervasive score. Good Planet of the Apes tie-in.

50/50

Rogen deals with another unintentional growth in the tragicomedy, Knocked Down. JGL bares his soul and his head with carefully delivered performance in this devastating and hilarious film. Does the heart come from cast’s stunning performances or the fact that it’s the writer’s autobiography? After several MRIs, looks like 50/50.

Love and Other Drugs

Gyllenhaal returns to cinematic wife, who now has damaged nervous system instead of broke back. Moving and poignant film that tries too hard to go too many directions at once. The tragic romance, the business drama, and the attempt to be super-bad leave a limp structure in need of medicine.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Gosling plays unfairly attractive mentor in The 40-Year-Old Monogamist. Basically an extended episode of an intricately plotted sitcom that lands laughs and tears with several ingeniously choreographed scenes. Drags a bit long at the end and remains morally ambiguous throughout, but holds its own through brilliant plot-twists and wicked wit.

The Ides of March

Old-fashioned political drama. Witty banter of a Sorkin script without clever plotting or potent subtlety. The messages are nothing new and story seems to build to shameless punch-line but even in spite of unrelated plot-points still carries suspense to the end. If Clooney went into politics it would be unfair.

Drive

Winding Refn revs up for the gold after Bronson’s disappointing bronze. Gosling proves you can’t judge a notebook by its cover in a film that’s crazy and lovely but far from stupid. Brooks and Hellboy have their careers resurrected. Unbelievably beautiful and not because of Mulligan and the frozen strippers.

Cowboys and Aliens

Independence day in Arizona. James Bond’s magic bracelet helps him fight not so Super eight thousand alien gold-diggers, because they stupidly abducted Indiana Wayne’s milkshake hungry son. Ham-handed character development, ridiculously silly story, and inanely Wilde phoenix scene add up to a film that tries too hard. Camp vs. A-listers.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Amazing effects, fantastic character development and plotting, and an alarming degree of respect for source material genetically engineer one of the best prequels ever. Familiar turf for all actors involved. Henderson re-unites with Harry. Malfoy stays douchy. Green Goblin relearns the dangers of modern science, and King Kong goes ape.

Captain America

Evans flames on patriotically in this exceptionally simple action flick. Marvelous performances and aesthetic make up for complete absence of plot originality. Basically a fast guy with a strong shield does exactly what he was supposed to do (fights Agent Red), without any internal conflict, plot twists, or historical relevance.

Batman Forever

Schumacher’s warmup for even bigger flop features odd choice heroes but brilliant bad guys. Carrey finally finds his niche and Tommy’s two face, though worse scripted, seems a prophetic prediction of Ledger’s Joker. Comes complete with all the cheese and camp of comic books, but lacks heart of other films.

Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Disney doesn’t make a decent epic, so someone else does for them. Best yet of Narnia franchise. Still religiously infused, still kind of corny, but finally well-acted, smoothly scripted and rendered on appropriate scale. Eustace is well cast and better as a dragon, and Caspian has a major stardust flashback.

Unknown

Neeson’s life gets Taken away, and no one has faith that he’s actually Aslan. Hitchcock-esque thriller that actually ends in the only rational, albeit implausible conclusion. Bit cheesy at times, but overall a fairly decent genre flick. Kruger is inglorious at best and Langella can’t get out of the box.

Sucker Punch

Snyder returns from Ga’Hoole and suffuses first original story with his usual sleek cinematic style. Browning, Malone, and high school Hudgens go through series of unfortunate events and Browning Pan’s her way out by imagining I, Robot and LOTR. Alarmingly deep story for Snyder, where exciting action often seems unnecessary.

Leaves of Grass

Two Eds are not better than one in this Coen Brothers wannabe complete with Tim Blake Nelson. Both Nortons characters are over the top while the plot can hardly stand up. A couple of amusing jokes can’t help but emerge from the hodge-podge of super-quirky dialogue, and equally crazy action.

The Losers

Racing the only slightly better Expendable Team, this appropriately loses. Evans steals every scene, but audience wonders why he’d want them. A blisteringly bad bad-guy and the Comedian’s subpar jokes can’t even make this comic-lover’s nightmare into a winner. A couple great kabooms, but the result is far from Earth-shattering.

The Adjustment Bureau

Heavy-set Damon takes to the mat and wrestles with fate and well-dressed angel-demons in pseudo-sci-fi flick which, to be Blunt, is cheesy and consequently riddled with holes. Like Narnia-wardrobe, magic doors transport hat-wearers to land of overt religious allegory… still New York. Concludes with literal Deus ex Machina. Silly book.

The A-Team

More like C+Team, but still grades about the Expendables’ D-. Qui-Gon joins a hung-over Cooper and an MMA fighter to help take down a Bond-esque District 9. Biel and Wilson tag along and it becomes terribly ridiculous at points, but only out of respect for the utterly inane source material.

Whip It

Barrymore directs herself, the unknown Wilson, and 30 actresses under 30 in this oddly compelling roller-derby romp. Juno plays an adorable Rocky on wheels who rockets the feisty ducks derby team to a rock-n-roll season in this fairly formulaic coming of age tale. Co-stars Juliette Clueless and Marcia Gay Hardass.

Source Code

Gyllenhaal’s video game vantage point, again and again and again. Jones moon’s us again, and again he satisfies. Sure there are some plot holes to be ignored. But then, maybe if viewed 50 times they start to make sense. Regardless, it’s a fun ride, albeit not for the other passengers.

Rabbit Hole

Like a similar alternate dimension, a brilliant adaptation from play into book. Kidman and Eckhart play the leads perfectly, and Wiest makes sister’s relationship plausible. This white rabbit leads away from Revolutionary darkness to much more optimistic take on grief. Functions as anti-iPhone propaganda. Hard to delete this film, though.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Happy Potter and the Octilogy ending battle. Final chapter is far-cry from blue-balled predecessor. Kill Voldemort vol. 2 leaves all the apparating behind and focuses instead on hurling digital fire back and forth. Brief stop by the Matrix weapons room precedes Aslan Potter saving the day. Then poof, aging spell.

Rango

Dir-Actor duo leave Pirates Gore behind to bring new Deppth to untapped Western animation genre. Clunky plot and weak character development don’t overshadow great animation and original concept. Clever film references are great but Eastwood’s too far from this west desert. Alternatively titled, The Ga’Hoole, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Silence of the Lambs

The definitive killer flick features not one, but two of the best villains ever. Hungry-brained Hopkins versus mousy-cute recruit Foster is a match worth watching. Made innovations in the art of deceptive editing, redefined the Oscar term ‘lead actor,’ and likely provided inspiration for Face-Off. Definitely put this lotion-picture on.

Despicable Me

Dreamworks’ answer to The Incredibles is slightly less so. Cute but overall predictable supervillain romp with amusing Bond gadgets an army of jaundiced Oompa-Loompas, and a decent dose of slapstick humor to keep things afloat. What’s truly despicable? Hiring famous actors then having them use severe accents. Great song though.

Heat

Father and son Corleone finally meet onscreen in the godfather of all bank heist films. Incredible cast and intricately woven multi-dimensional storyline raise the temperature far above that of a cops and robbers flick. 90s high point for every actor involved. Defined by cut coffee chat and intense city firefight.

The Graduate

Hoffman’s career (not in plastics) is born as the shmuck nerd star of this strange quasi-incestuous, morally ambiguous, sexually liberal story, that John Waters would have ruined completely. Inconic cinematic landmark that speaks volumes with its ambiguity, and is funny and charming to boot. Perfect final shot may seduce you.

Solaris (2002)

More visually impressive and in some ways more insightful, but certainly less revolutionary than Tarkovskiy’s original adaptation, Soderbergh’s rendition has larger scope but smaller span. Clooney and co-stars perform well in the stark but beautifully designed space station. Beautiful cinematography and breathtaking effects create visually spectacular rendition of original novel.

Leaving Las Vegas

Nicholas drinks himself out of his quirky Cage and into an incredible performance and perverse relationship with Elisabeth Shue gone wild at heart. Figgis’ most mainstream film and best character study is an almost impressively bleak downward spiral that somehow feels uplifting and sweet. Despite seriousness, begs for drinking game.

Edmond

An even worse Mamet movie than if he had actually directed it. Macy plays his usual loser, but without the usual empathy, and his spiral through insanity and into utter senselessness is just irritating to watch. Barely viewable hodgepodge of Woody Allen sex rants and Oliver Stone pseudo-intellectual violent rampages.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Disney turns random Fantasia segment into better Percy Jackson. Cage’s quirkiness perfectly fits his magical mentor for Baruchel’s nasal nerd while ample effects make the show enjoyable. Implausible romance, completely unintimidating bad guys, and Pirates style random rule invention prevent this film from being anything other than a kid’s flick.

The Other Guys

Amusing buddy cop parody that flounders on story and runs every joke into the ground. Coasts on how stupid Wahlberg thinks everyone is, and Mendez helps with appropriately out of placeness. Plummets halfway through when focus shifts to story, but unlike Mace Windu and the Rock, the crash takes forever.

TRON: Legacy

Visually stunning, conceptually creative and adequately loyal sequel to genre classic. Actors lend impressively deep performances to this effects extravaganza, and only overly-used digital Bridges falls short in both regards. Logical leaps, senseless scenes of Sheen’s Bowie and various violent vignettes are all made tolerable by Daft Punk’s inceptional base.

The Joneses

Extremely original plot populated with phenomenal and very pretty cast. Duchovny and Demi channel real life marital success to give life to lifestyle. Film cleverly reveals the mystery slowly but hits a standstill after that. Too many ideas and too little motivation twist the final act into an unmarketable mess.

Howl's Moving Castle

Another creatively conceived world rendered in what may be Miyazaki’s most astonishing visuals yet. Interesting American casting including far too masculine Bale. But viewer spirits pull away as Castle disintegrates to a Howling mess in the third act and then rewrites the textbook on deus ex machine to save itself.

Stone

American History why? Norton is a Dead Man Acting opposite De Niro’s blunderingly pathetic dislikable protagonist. Too little empathy plus too little plot equals a film that sinks like a Stone. Jovovich’s cuteness, nudity, and remarkably well-dropped accent almost justify a viewing with fast-forward button ready. Lock this one away.

There's Something About Mary

Stiller and the Farrellys stir their collective quirkiness together and produce a comedy classic with enough memorable laughs to almost make up for their career mistakes. Plot meanders enjoyably, only occasionally straying too far, and a brilliant collection of quasi-cameos keep the insanity fun. Then surprise, an athlete and emotions!

Drive Angry

More like, Driven Mad. Rodriguez-esque self-aware B film accidentally recreates worst parts of the genre. Cage under-overacts but Heard acts gorgeous and almost distracts from disasterous film. Fichtner’s highlight performance can’t make up for the horrible effects. No plotholes, but rather an angry plot abyss with occasional islands of solidity.

Dark City

Rufus is confused by lack of daylight so naturally he turns to Jack Bauer to count the hours. Proyas applies Crow sensibility to Chinatown sci-fi and populates his crazy Brazillian city with Riff Raff, Hurt, and a dreamy Connelly. Moody, atmospheric and clever, and outside the Matrix by one year.

The Lincoln Lawyer

A film of firsts. Macy plays something other than a loser. McConaughey and Philipe deliver spectacular performances. Both keep shirts on. Non-Grisham lawyer movie is riveting and suspenseful. Very nearly perfect crime thriller with a stellar supporting cast. See if McConaughey and Lucas face-to-face doesn’t look like a mirror image.

Horrible Bosses

Two Jasons enjoy a sunny Day in Philadelphia alongside crazy Cruise-esque performances from three veteran talents. Arbitrary antics and quick dialogue feel like a happy Hangover, as does the meandering and somewhat senseless plot. Funny film but leaves viewer wanting a little more nymphoniac Anistons, Killer Kevins and Cokehead Colins.

Water for Elephants

Pattinson exceeds expectations alongside poorly-paced Waltz and withering Reese. Holbrook lends appropriately elderly narration to an exceptionally bland story methodically enhanced by beautiful music and well-designed sets. Overall, aside from the elephant, one of the most forgettable films in recent history. Less a circus spectacule than a big bottom sideshow.

Fast Five

Best of franchise, with everything bigger except title. All series players have great parts, and music cues fill holes left by talent quality. Walker drives but he can’t act, and Diesel definitely crushes Rock, but no one watches this movie for drama. Brilliant physics defying car stunts make it fast-astic.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Pirates sells smoothly on after dumping Bloom baggage. Depp continues to justify the franchise but Barbosa gets a bigger role in this scaled down sequel. Brilliantly censored mermaids, Penelope’s other cruise, and an appropriately ludicrous fountain plot round out this small seas adventure. But why are the rum references gone?

Thor

Alarmingly impressive film for silly story. Divinely beautiful digital deity-ville oddly compliments cutesy clever Earth encounters. Repeated Avengers plugs seem out of place in this Norse American titan clash. Cosmic plotholes and a less than stellar ending aren’t enough to kill the immortally enjoyable quasi-shakespearean plot of Thor-oughly enjoyable film.

X-Men: First Class

Kick Ass director fixes Origins with series saving reboot. McAvoy and Lawrence hold their own, but Fassbender delivers powerhouse performance followed closely by six superpowers of Kevin Bacon. Inferior to first two films on account of mediocre supporting mutants, sub sized plot holes, and too much shrieking First Class flying.

Super 8

E.T. and Cloverfield copulate to produce alarmingly super film. Spielberg’s foul-mouthed kids with amazing dynamic blend almost too well into Abrams’ explosions and mystery. The result is an exciting War of the Goonies which can become unrealistic at times but ultimately satisfies. Charm of the 80s with effects of today.

Midnight in Paris

Wilson plays Woody well in Allen’s best and most accessible comedy to date. Midnight in Cairo features brilliant fantasy and an impressive array of modern stars perfectly portraying classic artists in funny but truthful ways. Allen did his research, and not just on sexual angst. Dissatisfying end elements and McAdams.

The Tree of Life

Malick’s thick green sphere finally features enough Discovery channel shots to feel justified and transforms into straight story intermission for a Koyanisqaatsi Adaptation. Dad Pitt merits another Oscar nod alongside stellar younger version of a barely seen Penn. Beautiful and Meditative film that drags from redundancies and overuse of screensavers.

9

Mini Oogie Boogie accidentally restarts sentinel and instigates a second Matrix, which is never a good thing. Even the best visual look poorly rendered and the story drifts from interesting to ludicrous as it attempts to make a point. Culminates in silly soul saving scene that dooms Earth and film.

Push

McGuigan’s lucky hand parks this somewhat silly psychic film, not at all based on anything by Sapphire, in the realm of creative cinematic realization. Visually stunning and tightly cut, with solid performances from under appreciated cast. Too bad a Stitcher couldn’t have healed the third act and attracted more watchers.

The Soloist

Sherlock is Blind Sided by homeless Rayn Man. Robert is a let-Downey Jr., falling somewhere between Catherine’s keener performance and hollow Hollander, but wily Foxx steals show. As a character study, it’s all Wright, but nothing stands out and it fizzles at the end. Odd, no staplers in the office.

The Box

Richard Kelly delivers another tale from outside the box… of human comprehension. Like the inane questions in Netflix radio commercials, Kelly confidently plops out senseless plot-point. Marsden and Diaz manage to maintain some legitimacy amidst the madness, while a well two-faced Langella shows Nolan how it’s done. Boxes the brain.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Perseus ‘3-D’ Jackson rides a digital horse into an ocean of mangled mythology. He fights with force of great typhoon as he struggles to be a man and sort out differences between Voldemort and Aslan, neither of whom are Titans. Decent effects and action sequences clash with titanic story flaws.

The Kids are All Right

Too long since someone cast A-nette and reeled in a great bunch of performances. Alice holds her own with Moore and Ruffalo as she adventures through 'family torn asunder-land.' Ruffalo’s feathers are ruffled by the film's failure to address his storyline adequately, but otherwise far better than just all right.

Cop Out

Smith does as he goes from porn film to dick flick. Funnier than the Porno, but still lacks original Smith depth and sentimentality. Morgan tries to learn what Willis is talking about, and chemistry is excellent. Even Scott manages to deliver in funny but not great buddy cop send up.

I Love You, Man

Apatow’s troupe goes off on their own and finally showcase the bro-mance. Rudd assumes the awkward man role beautifully, though Segel plays over the top. Clever for it’s simple adherence to rom-com formula, and hilarious thanks to Huebel and Samberg’s supporting roles, though both are under-used. I like it, man.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Jay cuts hair to signify Smith going Rogen in Apatow attempt. Plenty of clever gags come easy from ample risqué situations, but lack the overall lovable Clerks quirks. The nudity aside, an otherwise fairly conventional recent rom-com. Brandon and Long steal show and take more from each other than names.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Columbus discovers American world for Harry Potter in Polite Dispute of the Titans. Abandons senseless book plot in favor of alternative irrational national traipse, and adds healthy dose of Star Wars dialogue with lightning-saber battle to match. Only two performances shine from thunder; Alpa Chino’s furry bootysweat, and Coogan’s Pacino.

Observe and Report

Tonally confused. Paul Blart got Knocked Up by a Taxi Driver. Empathy with Rogen is only possible because everyone else is even worse. Pena gives best performance but Faris is barely bearable. Scenes of occasional violence are ironically funniest parts in film where reporting is more enjoyable than observing was.

Book of Eli

Sheriff Gordon rallies EVERYONE to hunt down Kimbo Slice in I Am The Road Warrior. Comic book perfectly stylistically rendered for screen. Washington meets George and Martha before massive shootout and strange boat scene straight from Children of Inside Men. Then, like Clockwork the eternal king of dystopian Doomsdays appears.

Funny People

Funny people does not equal funny performances. Sandler does well with quasi-serious part of role, but becomes too douchy to empathize with. Rogen and rest of cast do stand up but don’t stand out. Bana revitalizes film in eighth act, but by the three hour mark it loses laughs again.

Solitary Man

Gordon Gekko’s horny brother stars with Sarandon again in Wall Street 3: Money Took a Nap. Douglas’ performance is entertaining, and he has remarkable chemistry with each co-star. Jesse Eisenbeouf learns to network socially while Parker’s lonely housewife goes Red with rage. Still, storyline isn’t compelling and ending feels forced.

Pride and Prejudice

So bland it makes book look interesting by comparison, almost interesting enough to justify non-BBC non-Firth version. Beautiful cinematography distracts from dialogue that makes other actors speak as awkwardly as Knightley. Sutherland must’ve enjoyed working with all of Britain’s soon-to be leading ladies. To make this right, Wright must atone.

Sense and Sensibility

Trelawney gets a Grant with self-scripted role while she sticks Winslet with Snape, who finally gets to be a good guy. Meanwhile House makes a home with Umbrage, and everyone struggles to express themselves through bookish British dialogue. Released in China under alternative title: Crouching Sense, Hidden Sensibility. Jolly good.

Boogie Nights

Compelling look at veritable porn family and even more compelling looks at RollerGraham and most of Moore. Brilliant long shots, great performances, and resurrection of Reynolds lend to nearly perfect ensemble film. Wahlberg accurately predicts ‘big stardom’ despite odd car scene with his ten dollar 13-inch-long. Cast reappears in Magnolia.

Into the Wild

Penn graduates acting and disappears into directing his Milky boyfriend. Hurt softens Hurt and Harden as Hirsch races speedily through a cast of comedians and meets vampiric new girl next door. Beautifully executed piece has perfect mix of romance and realism to make anyone almost want to be Supertramp. Almost.

James and the Giant Peach

Dreyfuss asked for a bigger boat but got a peach in this excellent adaptation of the beloved book. Burton’s striped fingers are evident in this children’s adventure and grotesque horror all Roald into one, especially during ocean encounter with Captain Jack Skellington. Moral: Don’t accept phosphorous pasta from Pete Postlethwaite.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

Depp and Dicaprio spend time At World’s Endora before taking their careers to the seas. Young Romeo is so powerful that he inspires Scissorhands to embarrass himself in Benny and Joon, and Lewis sets in motion a string of trailer trash performances. Quirky Dewey and Willard are overshadowed by mother.

Reds

Beatty’s Braveheart attempts to be timeless by lasting forever. Dull documentary clips used to separate bouts of brilliant banter only exacerbate pacing problem that not even Nicholson can fix. Keaton holds her own but clearly misses Woody’s wit and short run times. Forces viewer to consider communism, counter-revolutionaries, and clock.

Blue Valentine

Heart-wrenchingly real look at why love sucks. Gosling goes full Nelson with powerful performance in anti-Notebook. Williams delivers as well, and both performances invite viewer to wallow amidst a future room of despair. Far too mundane for mainstream. Think 500 Days of Winter, though Gosling’s hairline suggests more like 5000.

The Sting

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Con. Brilliant crime flick revisits amazing Newman-Redford chemistry. Twists beautifully and demands attention to detail though there’s no illusion that all will come together (or apart) as planned. Could have cut a bit better, perhaps by excluding Redford’s creepy girl. What really stings: the sequel.

Thank You For Smoking

Reitman captures Buckley’s wit beautifully with help from perfect cast. Exotic blend of clever humor with slapstick-esque hilarity, rolled into a perfect satiric cinematic joint. Eckhart makes himself a household name, and spends time in Holmes as well. X-Men Leech holds his own and doesn’t run scared from brilliant flick.

The Italian Job (2003)

Original remake that abandons subtlety of original in favor of explosive action but maintains sexy iconic mini-cooper chase. A tremendous cast of A-listers Ocean Eleven their way through a clever heist. Audiences may have trouble accepting Norton as a bad guy, or anyone other than Jude Law as Michael Caine.

Sunshine

Intelligent deep-space thriller with depth of Solaris and the excitement of Alien. Boyle goes big scale for this one and uses Fincher-esque camera moves to restart the sun. Stellar international cast explore the burden of saving humanity while struggling to learn why Boyle trashed the film in the third act.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

A smart sentimental movie that masterfully hides from genre categorization. Carrey takes a serious turn while Winslet and Ruffalo go crazy. Dunst and Wood make odd additions but everyone works in service of this carefully constructed screwball adventure. Like Inception but emotional instead of intellectual, so the opposite, an exception.

Big

Young Hanks plays younger kid in alarmingly adult family film. Gimmicky plot saved by sincere sentimentality, and subversively clever themes, not to mention Hanks who is outstanding even without AIDS, autism, or an island beard. Fun flick about demonic magic, kidnapping, pedophilia, and growing up. And that iconic piano scene!

Brothers (2009)

About time Donnie Darko and Peter Parker played ‘title.’ Inferior to older Danish brother, and somehow felt cold despite deep performances. Shepard and Portman fill out family adequately but eldest daughter steals the show. “Do you know what I did with these hands?” Yeah, Tobey, we know. You shot web.

Brothers (2004)

Thomsen returns to comfort zone as traumatized dysfunctional family member. A film more powerful for what it doesn’t say than for what it does. Supporting cast perform well, most notably Nielson who somehow snuck her way in. Middle East scenes steal show and perhaps degrade from more subtle family elements.

The Crazies (2010)

Compelling and exciting horror camp wrapped around an alarmingly plausible and well-constructed premise. Mitchell and Olyphant play surprisingly intelligent protagonists in a town gone mad, and the scares are plentiful and effective. Could have focused more on Thing style sane person suspicion, and done without plot-undermining Crystal Skull refrigerator scene.

Death at a Funeral (2007)

Yoda directs cheesy but fun Brit comedy, that revels in its quirky discomfort. Tudyk steals the show, with most outlandish role to date, but Dinklage doesn’t come up short in his most serious foray. Supporting cast perform admirably if not memorably. Neither good enough nor bad enough to warrant remake.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

Quasi-remake that starts well enough, and features the decades first decent Keanu casting, but then hits a standstill with introduction of Crichton prey bugs, the most dimly-lit McDonald’s ever, and a complete lack of main character motivation. Ends abruptly with simultaneous saving of planet and destruction of original film’s point.

I'm Still Here

Controversial film about a Phoenix who tries to rise from the ashes by lighting himself on fire. Fairly well made film, that maintains its own legitimacy admirably. Still, fails to sell point solidly, and becomes overly offensive through use of coke, craigslist, and Diddy-Daddy’s comments on Assassination of Jesse James.

Easy A

Classmates socially stone Emma for alleged sexual indiscretions in The Scarlet Podcast, compelling look at teens today and mediocre attempt at Hawthorne modernization. High school viewers may be jealous, not of the leads pseudo-sex-life, but rather of greatest parents ever, Tucci and Clarkson. Don’t you forget about excessive film references.

The Informers

Another Easton Ellis look at modern moral decay. Captures Psychotic American tone with precision but falls victim to scatterbrained rules of attraction. Suffers rift between the sexy young naked people party and the washed up actors convention. Renfro’s last role is decent, but everyone only Heard about eternally exposed Amber.

Valentine's Day

Love, Atrociously. Cheesy forced variation of British rom-com masterpiece. Amusing cast of big name actors add some spice to poorly constructed ensemble disaster, but none of the interweaving pays off or says much of anything. Cooper and Roberts provide only truly compelling storylines, and culminating in sole redemption of film.

Daybreakers

Underworld takes over leaving Neo Hawke and Omega Man Dafoe to battle for a cure in vampire Matrix. Decent premise and adequate effects make for a fun show, but the plot feels rushed and like it’s subjects, it fails to have any emotional pulse. Simultaneously darker and brighter than Twilight.

Tangled

Disney returns to princess stories, and to making good movies sans Pixar, with this original Rapunzel adaptation. Picturesque paint style, rock-n-roll, and action adventure fuse into an odd animated Emperor’s New Knight’s Tale. Excellent film despite excessive voice-over, overly likeable and talented bad guy and weepy deus ex machina ending.

The Fighter

That Bale, Wahlberg, and Russell didn’t kill each other is almost as miraculous as the performances they crafted. Of course Aronofsky had his hands in ring-fight where punches outside the match hurt more than those within it. Ends lighter than Wrestler cousin, and throws knock-out blow with vindicating documentary clip.

The King's Speech

Geoffrey rushes in to prevent Firth from st-st-stealing the show in poignant and clever, if somewhat conventional story of a man overcoming himself. Pleasant to see Carter in non-Burton role, and Pearce’s snarkiness somehow makes him biggest bad guy in film that contains Hitler. Perfect parts funny, compassionate, and p-p-powerful.

True Grit

Coens become man-killers with first successful remake. Bridges and Steinfeld fill the shoes of their predecessors and Damon fills out Campbell’s comedically bad performance in a film that takes its subject matter more seriously than original. Pepper plays his namesake well though Brolin feels about as unenthusiastic as bookend segments.

Black Swan

Aronofsky introduces wrestler’s scarier sister, beautifully depicted by petrified Portman. Ryder and Kunis are brilliant as washed up and insincere respectively, and Cassell is expectedly outstanding, though his ‘black/white swan’ speech gets old. Still, brilliant script steers clear of campy horror despite staple leg snapping, finger ripping, and lesbian sex.